Parents

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Helicopter moms care so deeply for their children, that in the midst of their hovering they sometimes cause more harm than good in the lives of their children. I know, because I am a helicopter mom and I have a 17-year old son, whom I love dearly. But, sometimes I have an extremely difficult time letting go and allowing him to grow up and become an independent, young man. As mothers we want our children to become productive contributors of society. We would like to see them succeed and of course, we don’t want them to endure the “growing pains” we ourselves have endured in the process of maturing and becoming adults. We’ve made mistakes and learned some very harsh lessons from what I call the “errs of life”.

We want to protect our children, by completely shielding them from the misery and suffering that ultimately fosters growth. I am hoping that as a mother who is currently experiencing this phenomenon known to many as over-parenting, I can tell my story and help other mothers voice their personal struggles and experiences as self-confessed helicopter moms. Through this forum, we can come together and support one another. I have been a helicopter mom since the birth of my son almost 18 years ago. I started law school and didn’t finish because I feel the need to “hover” over my son to ensure he doesn’t have so many problems I see teenage boys his age experiencing. So many parts of my life have been placed “on hold”, because of my need and desire to control all aspects of my son’s life.

However, I want to stop trying to control his life and relinquish the reins to him, because he will be 18 in February of next year and if I don’t stop now, I am afraid I will do more harm than good. I’ve watched many helicopter moms on talk shows like Dr. Phil, Anderson, Oprah and Good Morning America. I don’t want to ruin the relationship with my son and his future family. Therefore, I’m hoping by opening up this platform I can help other mothers (and myself) who suffer from “helicopter mom” syndrome.

 

10 Tell-Tale Signs You’re a Helicoptermamma…

1) You browse your son or daughter’s Facebook account without their knowledge or permission.

2) You wish you could take the SAT or ACT tests for your college-bound kids, because they can’t seem to get high enough scores. At least not high enough for you.

3) You want to select the perfect girl for your son to date and marry or the perfect guy for your daughter to date and eventually marry. Because, of course – they don’t know what’s good for them. Only mother knows best.

4) You wish you could take the DMV written and driving tests for your son or daughter, so he/she can pass it quickly. Because they did not pass the last two times they attempted the test. Maybe they are not yet ready to drive. Just maybe…

5) When your son or daughter attends a party, you call them at least every hour to see if they are “having a good time” or “enjoying themselves”. Then you start texting them while they are at the party to see when they are coming home or what time they would like for you to pick them up.

6) You tell others that you want your son or daughter to grow up and become independent, but what will you do when the nest is empty? You really don’t have a life outside of your kids. So, you truly want and need them to be dependent on you, so that you can feel in control.

7) All you talk about is your son or daughter when you are at work or when you meet new people. You never really think about yourself and your needs. The kids come first and your needs and desires are last on the list. If they make the list at all.

8) You worry all the time whether your son or daughter is “safe”, “happy” or just “OK”.

9) You can’t remember the last time you had sex with your spouse. But, when it comes to the kids you know their blood type, grade point average, foods they like and dislike. You know where they are each and every minute of every day. You know all of their teacher’s names, email addresses and cell phone numbers. If you could place a hidden tracking device on your son or daughter – you would do it in a heartbeat.

10) Not one single day goes by without you calling or texting your son or daughter, who is away at college. You don’t give them any space or time to think for themselves. Because in your mind, they can’t think for themselves.

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