Is Your Daughter Dating The Wrong Guy?

Last weekend, my best friend’s daughter Lillian got married. My best friend Julie and her daughter have been planning this wedding for over two years. Lillian recently graduated from UCLA and is marrying a guy she met while standing in line at a local Starbucks coffee shop. Lillian claims, “…It was love at first sight”. But, when you’re 22 anything feels like love – right? Well, Julie has supported the relationship from day one – because she did not want her daughter to blame her, should the relationship fail. The lucky groom’s name is Harry. Harry has no job and is not currently in the job market. Harry has no college degree, nor is he seeking one. But, Harry has the most gorgeous eyes and most fabulous 6-pack abs. And maybe this is what sealed the deal. I don’t know.

But, marriage is a big step. It’s a major commitment between two people who must love, honor and cherish “until death do us part”. So, when Lillian brought Harry home, you can imagine the look on her mother’s face, when Julie found out Harry was an unemployed body-builder. Notice, I did not say “professional body-builder”. This is something Harry does in his spare time; in the hopes that someday he will become a professional body-builder. So, Julie sees this handsome guy walk through the door with her daughter Lillian, who is absolutely glowing and then when the three sit down to dinner, Julie discovers that her daughter is planning to marry a loser.

My advice, if your daughter brings home the wrong guy, all you can do is tell her what you think about the situation. If she’s “way too young” or “in love” to see the forest for the trees, then you have to let go and let her dive-in “head first”, so she can eventually realize her mistake. Unfortunately, if you try to kill the relationship, you will only push your daughter further away, into the arms of that LOSER GUY. So, now my best friend’s daughter Lilian is happily married to a guy who has no job and no source of income. Meanwhile, Lillian works for a large computer company as an Analyst, she comes home daily to an obviously good looking, but unemployed husband. Now is this the new thing? Are women working and taking care of their husbands? I actually thought it was the other way around. Please post your comments and send me your feedback on this topic. I can’t wait to hear your opinions.

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Beware of Mom

Jennifer admits she’s constantly hovering over her three children, especially her 17-year-old daughter Kim. She admits to calling Kim’s cell phone multiple times a day and following her to her friends’ houses, the mall and even cheer-leading practice.

Could Jennifer’s hovering ruin her relationship with Kim? Jennifer should probably not follow Kim to cheer-leading practice. The mall is OK, because they can go their own separate ways and shop in different stores. Malls are large and nobody has to know Jennifer is in Macy’s shopping, while Kim’s shopping at Forever 21.

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What Comes Before Marriage?

I did receive a few emails about what some mothers are defining as risky teen behavior and risky sexual behavior was number one on that list. Followed by drugs and drinking. How can teens get a hold of drugs and alcohol? They are under age and should not be able to get their hands on this kinda stuff.

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Older Women and Younger Men

Should a 21-year-old young woman be going out with a 17 1/2-year-old kid?  Well, some people would say “Sure, let him enjoy himself, she can teach him a thing or two”.  While others would say, “No WAY!, she’s breaking the law (in most states).  I really wonder if it’s OK for a 21-year-old woman to be interested in a 17-year-old young man?  Personally, I think it’s wrong and anyone who has children under the age of 18, should monitor their kids’ friends carefully and closely.  Make sure you know who your kids are hanging out with, their ages, where they live, cell phone numbers, parent’s telephone numbers, etcetera.

For now, I say keep those older women away from my son.  I want the best for my son.  I don’t want an older  woman to “show him the ropes” and ruin his initial life experiences for him.  I want him to enjoy his young life with a young girl close to his own age.  Is it wrong for a mother to feel this way?  Write me, send your e-mails and let me know what you feel about this topic.

For all you helicopter moms out there, it’s OK to know who your kids are hanging out with – do your homework.

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