Still Hovering?
I honestly don’t believe that hovering creates rotten teens. I think the teen was born rotten to begin with or was possibly influenced by friends at school or in their neighborhood. Nobody can make a child good or evil; the kid is just innately bad or innately good. If someone is rotten to the core, then the core needs work before you can see light shining from that individual.
My stepson had a run-in with the law last year. My husband blamed himself over and over for his son getting in trouble. I told my husband that we as parents cannot control the actions of our children. We can only pray they make the right decisions and hope they learn from the examples we set for them. Being a Helicopter Mom does not make me a bad person. It means that I care deeply for my son. I want him to be happy, so happy that sometimes I wish I could control every aspect of his life. That’s not a good thing, but it’s better than being an “uninvolved parent”. I guess too much or too little of anything isn’t good. But, I firmly believe that if a child sees his or her parents doing good and noble deeds, then he too will follow their lead. However, if he or she still behaves badly; then they are innately bad to the core.
Bad behavior results in negative outcomes. Once they get enough negative outcomes, maybe they will begin to do positive things. All we can do is pray and lead by example. That helps too!